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Funny thing is
I’ve texted her quite a few times knowing she can’t see them. But yet it’s compulsive for me to remind her that I’ve thought about her. So I text, and I text, but there’s no reply… It’s alright though cause I know I cared; And for some reason my brain tells me I need to. If she were to stand in front of me tomorrow… I’ll leave it at that and let the thoughts run wild, as she silently reads this pondering what I’d do..
Thoughts #1
Inspire me.
To do more
To be more
To feel again
To trust
To honor
To redeem when all else fails.
Inspire me to become better than my past but not at the cost of living in the moment.
Mhm
Just got home. Hung out with Walter for a bit. Thinking about you again. I feel like I might be a little tan from yesterday’s burn, but we’ll see how long that lasts… Well till I’m glow-in-the-dark again. Remeniscing a bit and it’s driving me insane. I love it but there’s nothing I can do to change the decisions to be made. Nothing I can do to prove I’m better. In the words of the Zack Brown Band: keep me in mind, somewhere down the road you might get lonely. Keep me in mind, and pray someday that you will love me only. Well the world can be real tough, find shelter in me, if there’s no one else to love keep me in mind… And trust me one day those battle scars will fade. That war with love you speak of can and will end in peace, happiness, and an end to your pain.
Running out of titles
I don’t ever want to wake up, looking into someone else’s eyes. Another voice calling me baby, on the other end of the phone. A new girl putting on her makeup, before dinner on a Friday night. No I don’t ever want to know oh o. No other shotgun rider, beside me, singing to the radio.
Blehhh
Thought about you a lot today, again I looked for you in the crowd, but no luck. Kinda shitty when I see friends of yours but not you. Bunch of songs came on that of course I sang along to, but they reminded me of you. The sun burnt me on my face and arms, and now I have a tan line from where my watch goes. Welp guess I won’t ever forget. Haha but anyways. Just jotting some things down and letting you know that I still think about you a lot. Remember… You can call me whenever you want. Cept when I’m working. Lol
I
I know you’re here. You just enjoy teasing me with anticipation. And it makes me think of you constantly
Regrets
I regret many things in my life, although I’m always told not to regret anything. I regret going away. I regret leaving you. I regret the decisions that lead me to being alone. I regret changing so much that it sickens me. I can’t stand the hatred, the bitterness, the loathing. I can’t stand that I won’t be able to see that smile. I can’t stand that I pushed you so far away that I wouldn’t be able to catch you again. I can’t stand that I can’t change anything that has happened. I can only hope that my mind eases itself. I can only hope that things change. It seems as if really no one else can replace the feeling. I’ve tried…. I’ve failed…. I’ve failed in many more ways than I can think of. And most of all, I’ve failed you, my family, and myself.
Do you want me gone that bad? Is there no way I can ever make up for anything? Do you know how shitty it is to make a mistake and regret it, to feel so bad about what happened, to think and to dream about it constantly? To know that I broke my own heart for no reason…
Yep
Still thinking about you today. Making Mac&Cheese and a couple sandwiches. Totally craving a cigarette right now but I don’t have any and it’s killing me. No idea what the plan is for today, but I do plan on beating someone up for a cigarette (just kidding). May go to my moms for a bit today. Idk, we’ll see!
When.
When is it my turn to find someone that brings me happiness?